If I ruled the world, Plentiful sex certainly sounds appealing. But then it comes to mind that I might create rules to protect my sisters, daughters, and wives - not because I'm a good person, but because I don't like the idea of others having sex with my wife. I certainly don't let other people drive off with my car without permission! So let's revize our slogan -- "if men ruled the world, there'd be sex readily available, but OUR women would be off limits to other guys." We might even create a class of women whose job it is to provide sex.
But there are even more insidious underlying assumptions here: what women want isn't under consideration, and perhaps women only deny men sex as a cruel way to exercise power over men -- certainly there's no other conceivable reason not to have sex with me! There is no room in this reality for women who are reasonable independent beings who happen to not want sex with me.
Even deeper, it is commonly understood that all men think about and want sex all the time. And sure, if a hot chick in a short skirt wandered by right now, I would not be thinking of golf. But in fact, that common understanding is utter nonsense. In high school I had a strong interest in sex. Like a thirsty sailor on a desert island, I occasionally felt that I'd do anything for it. Then sure enough, there was a girl who would have had sex with me. But I could not have a serious conversation with her, ever, and so I avoided spending time with her, in spite of the obvious advantages such an arrangement would have brought to me. While all men face real urges, it's not at all as if these urges control you. I'm no Ghandi: anything I do, anyone can do.
So given that every time a man has sex, it is a voluntary choice rather than some type of undeniable primal instinct nonsense, then the times a man does have sex are quite telling. When a man like Dominique Strauss-Kahn (French economist, lawyer &politician) who has every opportunity to get sex that a man can have: money, power, being french... When a man like that commits rape, it is sheer, pure hatred of women that motivates him. He could have sex with a wife, a lover, several lovers and a hooker. But none of them would feel the fear and revulsion that he wishes to cause. None of them would suffer enough to take his mind of the sheer worthlessness of his own existence.
"So for all the girls out there, it’s possible to be a good girl. I’m going to try to make it cool." -Reese Witherspoon
It's hard to attack someone as nice and naive as Reese, but she's a bit of an idiot, you know? She thinks that girls having sex is the problem, when in fact the problem is slut-shaming girls who have sex. Girls, and I hope this is news to no-one, have always had sex. If they ever stop, humanity will cease to exist. So the good-girl fetish is the problem. Girls should be allowed to enjoy sex, and enjoy their bodies, and yet still have autonomy over their bodies. A girl who is "asking for it" is never the problem -- perverts who break the law and cause pain and suffering are the problem.
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( 2.9 / 1448 )
"the only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice pasts longer". -Oscar Wilde [ add comment ] ( 138 views ) | permalink | print article |
( 3 / 1290 ) "The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban in seeing his face in the glass" -Oscar Wilde [ add comment ] ( 133 views ) | permalink | print article |
( 3.1 / 1538 )"Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault." -Oscar Wilde [ add comment ] ( 146 views ) | permalink | print article |
( 3 / 1415 )In all actuality my first dearest wish was to be an astronaut. And of course this was never to be, due to the imperfection of my eyesight. Yet in this instance this obvious physical flaw was a blessing as failure's bitter fruit is best swallowed quickly. Certain flaws in my nature make such a goal so impossibly unlikely as to be unobtainable in any event.
Far better put off by physical inability than by weakness of character. And once disappointment has left its sharp pangs, success comes easily in other venues. It is only after great failure that one achieves great success, and then only from great success does one truly learn fear.
Or perhaps this paraphrase of Tricia McMillan says it best, "I've learned there are time when one must never go back, and times when you must always go back. I have not learned to tell the difference between such times."
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( 2.9 / 1267 )When disaster strikes, we want to take care of the helpless: the very young and the very old. Babies of course need extra care, and pople wonder whether they should provide formula. Short answer: No.
In devastated areas, drinking water is difficult to find, and often suspect. Far better to avoid exposing babies to extra germs whenever we can.
human-milk-4-human-babies-after-japan
There are many gray areas in life, but raising healthy happy babies is not one of those areas. No matter how horrible a disaster, no matter how risky life may become, there is no substitute for old fashioned mama milk. Formula is damaging to baby brains, significantly lowering their expected IQ. It also lacks vital antibodies and enzymes, making them more suspect to disease.
No matter how much money companies like Nestle spend to spread falsehoods about the "benefits of formula," the cold hard fact is that cow milk supplemented with vitamins will never be as good for your baby as the food your mama-ry glands will provide.
It isn't pure instinct though, you'll need to talk to a lactation consultant and/or mamas with experience. And while breastfeeding is difficult in the first few days, it quickly becomes an integral part of your day, requiring none of the shopping, refrigerating, heating and mixing of those synthetic milk products.
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( 3 / 1341 )So I jumped into a rather interesting discussion online recently, and I thought I'd share it here.
I was circumcised and it ruined my life! I blame the Jews for this. -anon1
I doubt you're Jewish, or even circumcised. I circumcised, and it's no big deal, doesn't interfere with my life at all. -anon2
I agree that my circumcision is no big deal and I don't particularly care if other people do it or not. That said, the few cases of serious infection or nerve damage made me think twice before genitally altering my own children unnecessarily.
There also the fact that circumcised men everywhere hate condom use, while uncircumcised do not, which seems to confirm the "loss of sensitivity" claim. So much for the pro-circ groups claiming it magically prevents AIDS - condoms do that for real.
And Jewish circumcision involves far less actual cutting than American circumcision, so I'd go with that first, if I was going to put in the effort. But it's like piercing your baby girl's ears - why bother?
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( 3 / 931 )So it has quickly become a custom in my household that every February we cut back our spending to bare essentials, buying only what we feel we must not do without. This is a good thing, it brings us up and helps us examine what really matters to us, financially, emotionally, and as people. The idea comes from here, and we adapted it to ourselves: 21 day fast
The most interesting thing about this fast is the reactions we get from people around us. People are outraged that we would alter our spending based on nothing but a sense that spending money might not be healthy. To spend less because you are short on cas, or have creditors hounding you, that seems reasonable. But to cut back simply to stop spending and without any other goal? It angers people, and they cannot say why. And yet, I am not out to prove my superiority, nor even to improve my bank account. I am simply living now, without purchases to justify my existence.
Now, this did not originally come about because I am such a wonderful person that has found yet another way to look better than you. No, this came about because my spouse and I were desperately in debt and sought to end our cycle of running out of money and using credit, paying off the credit but then running out of money and borrowing even more...
Once we realized how hopelessly damaging this was, we stopped. We stopped buying things we did not need, we stopped buying things we somewhat needed. We also stopped paying our creditors. We simply lived within our means for five months. Now, this meant lots of angry phone calls to my google voice number by creditors -- calls I did not answer. But once our 5 months was up, I began paying bills, one by one. By the 7th month, I had made arrangement to pay off all my debts, at interest rates of 3-8% rather than 20-30%, and minus a great deal of fees and penalties. One has to call their bluff or they will never negotiate to take little more than they are owed. Of course, in the ninth month I did get a court summons, from one of the companies I was already paying. And another company I was trying to reach sent me to collections and won't talk to me now. But the collections agent is a very nice man, and he's working to ensure I don't get further trouble over it. In fact, my credit is very close to what is was before I stopped paying, and well on its way to a good score. This process was fairly painful, but will leave less of a mark than bankruptcy.
In August of 2009, I was worth negative $41,000. That is, I was slightly more than one year's wages in debt. As of now, my debt is hovering at $29,000. By August I will have payed off another 6,000 I think, putting me well on the way to living debt-free.
Additionally, as I pay off another large debt in the next couple months, my overall payments will drop off significantly, allowing me to put more into savings. Which is really good, since my car is very nice and quite reliable but really too old to depend upon without a backup plan.
And so, we return to February again, and we take stock by limiting our spending to essentials.
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